If you keep asking “Should I…?” and you don’t move, you are overthinking a decision.
This is not a personality trait. It is a repeatable pattern: you try to reduce uncertainty to zero before you act, and that keeps you stuck.

This article gives you a practical way to stop overthinking, choose a next step, and make it stick.
If you want to do this 1:1 and leave with a written decision summary you won’t reopen later, book a session.
If you want to work through decisions with others, enter the Hideout.

What overthinking a decision looks like (clear signs)

• You think about the decision daily (or weekly) but take no concrete step.
• You ask more people, read more posts, or “research” instead of taking action.
• You reopen the same arguments with slightly different wording.
• You focus on finding the perfect option instead of a workable option.
• You feel temporary relief after thinking, then anxiety returns because nothing changed.

Real-life examples of the loop (how it hides)

• Job: You hate your job, but you keep saying “I’ll decide after I know what I want to do next.” Months pass.
• Relationship: You know the relationship isn’t working, but you keep waiting for a “clear sign” or one perfect conversation.
• Moving: You compare cities, rents, and pros/cons endlessly to avoid accepting trade-offs.
• Health: You plan the perfect routine instead of choosing one simple plan and starting.
• Business: You keep building and refining, but you avoid shipping because feedback feels risky.

The loop-break protocol: observe → decode → decide → lock it in

1) Observe: write the decision in one sentence

If you cannot write the decision clearly, you cannot decide clearly.
Use:
“I am deciding whether to ___ or ___.”

Example:
“I am deciding whether to stay in my current job for 6 more months or start applying now.”

2) Decode: identify what you are avoiding

Overthinking usually protects one of these:

• Discomfort: an awkward conversation, uncertainty, effort.
• Rejection: someone might dislike your choice.
• Responsibility: choosing means you own the outcome.

Ask:
“What specific situation am I trying to avoid if I choose?”
Write one sentence. Not a theory.

3) Decide: use tests that force a real choice

Test A: Decision weight

Ask: “Is this a high-impact decision, or am I treating it like one?”
If it is low-impact and reversible, choose quickly and move.

Test B: Reversible vs. irreversible

Ask: “If I choose this and it goes badly, can I adjust within 30–90 days?”
If yes, you do not need perfect certainty to start.

Test C: Opportunity cost

Ask: “What am I losing by staying undecided?”
Example: “I am losing sleep and motivation. I am also losing time to build alternatives.”

4) Lock it in: choose one small anchor you will do this week

A decision that does not change your behavior is not a decision. It is a thought.
Pick one action that makes the decision real.

• Job: update CV + apply to 3 roles.
• Relationship: schedule the conversation + write the two key sentences you will say.
• Moving: book 2 apartment viewings or decide a date you will visit the city.
• Health: pick a 20-minute plan and do it 3 times before changing anything.
• Business: publish one offer page and send it to 10 people for feedback.

FAQ

How do I know if I’m overthinking or being careful?

-You are being careful if you are gathering new information and taking concrete steps. You are overthinking if you repeat analysis with no new input and no action.

What if both options are bad?

-Then you are choosing between costs. Stop searching for a cost-free option. Choose the cost you can live with and build a plan around it.

If you want this done with you (and locked in with a written summary), Book a cāive Session.
For more decision-making and overthinking posts, browse the Archive.

Note: cāive is clarity coaching and education. It isn’t medical or mental health care.